never gonna fall inlove again - trish

Now i know most of u r gonna be sad and miss me but i will miss u all too and since ur not gonna hear me vocally heres what i should have said thanks to all U ALL SUCKED

 

 

Trish: baby girl i loved ur laugh, i loved everything bout u sry i couldn't be with u forever i wish u would have seen how much of a asshole Jeremy really was i wish i could have been in his spot holding u in my arms forever hopefully making time stand still around us but i see it never happened i love u soo much and i am sry for braking ur heart

 

 

Kelly: i love u sooo much and i thank u for ur great advise, and i am sry that ur dad was a asshole all i ask is that u take care of Trish and keep her happy and not make her sad, and hopefully maybe me and u could be lovers in our next life as well as we was in this life love always and forever

 

 

Aleasea: sister i love you, and i am glad u r and was my bigger sister hopefully u tell Trish i will always love her, and i miss her forever i really do wish me and u and her all could be good to each other i miss u and i know you'll miss me goodbye

 

Mom: u cniving bitch i hate u for not even caring about me i hope u and dad rot in hell for not caring  i hated how u was obsessed with ur ugly face trying to be pretty it is worthless ur ugly and fat i hope u die u fugly ass bitch

 

Dad: oh my god u bastard i hope u rot in hell, u beat me everyday, u always said u wished i would die and u r a fucking mother fucking bastard go suck dick u bastard

 

Jeremy: u mother fucking bastard how could u not ever care bout Trish u always cheated on her i hope to god u r fucking dead, and if i could come back i would kick ur ass Trish is a prime goddess  and ur a fucking bastard who didn't deserve her love

 

Derrick: bigger brother i hope u rot in hell for beating the shit outa me every fucking day u r my big brother ur sopost to teach me stuff not beat the shit out of me every-fucking-day just die would u

 

And to everyone who i forgot i am sry ur hearts broken i love u all i wish u all the best of luck in life

 

And to people who beat me up everyday i hope u fucking die and burn or rot in hell for it

 

again i am sry to all who r sad bout my death but noone cared for me like Trish did i wish i could have her soo much marry her fuck her and everything i am sry to all who cared

 

LOVE IS not mAke beLIEve,

 

Brad Terrance Dickerson

ok my friend my bestest buddy ever died just a few days ago hear is how he died

 

ok his sister told me he slit his wrist and blown his brains out he was home alone only for a few hours like maybe 3 hours and in that time he was doing just fine when his sister left and then she left i think he had it all planed out on how to finish his life he did leave a note i dunno what it says yet his sis should bring it tomorrow she forgot where she put it so yeah well anyways in the 3 hours he had alone in his house he killed himself he has cut marks on his wrist and chest and legs when he got done with the strenth he had left he blew out his brains i was sad when i heard well anyways the suiside note will be on tomorrow good bye for now ok

 

DEREK'S LOVER FOR LIFE BUT NOW BRETS :P

TRISH

i feel dead and like a ghost
i can't scream from my heart
cuz tis dead and i am not aloud to speek
my mouth has been blocked out
no1 can hear my screams for help
cuz they blocked out my screams.
fix my mouth fix my screams
alow me to scream and be free
please i begth you help my heart
hear my screams set me free.
set me free by one kiss tonight
free my soul from this prison
that it's locked in
save me from something i can't control
save me from the horror that lives inside
killl whats left or let it go
whats your chouse

for abvious reasons i miss derek so much i wish he was back or just kidding or maybe he left togoto a slint place of grace or maybe somewhere far away to where i can never reach him ever why do i feel soo bad for his death like it was my fault maybe it was i mean i can't even think of leaving a note on his page i miss him so much i mean i would have him now if it wasn't for that over grown monkey asswipe that got in the way i am never falling inlove again NEVER don't talk me outa it either

love me or hate me i don't care if i am pertty or ugly or a poser or someone else i am me i know who i am and no1 can tell me different i think thats all good night

ok my best buddy jeremy and his lover kelly not my cuz some other bitch well anyways jeremy tom brad and tristan r on my last nervs they r killing my pages i'ma kill them they r getting there own pages later okaa more after they fix em up

i've had three friend die on me one of witch died in my arms while i loved him very much his name jeremy banks i love him he shot himself in the heart and died he fell down i layed him close to my heart and then my friend kelly brooks dies cuz some guy raped and killed her and then derek spencer died i am sooo sad and messed up that i am starting to think i am the angel of death and the reason why is because every time i fall inlove someone dies i will never fall inlove again cuz no1 cares about me

*recap* "because those where hired cops to trick you two into beleaving he was going to get arested hahahahahaha" she explained he walked back thru the door and i punched him really hard he fell back wards almost "DEREK SPENCER how could you ,you fucking bastard i will kill you" i said while pouncing him and i kicked him in the leg cuz what he did*end recap*
so it was the big day the wedding my sister and dereks sister and alex and elly was getting the house ready for the wedding and me and derek was out for a lil bit
*2 hours later*
now playen on the piano was 'here come's the bride' "oh you look really beautiful trish" shannon said as he walked me up the aile i just blushed and i stopped and stood there in front of my almost newly wedded husben "dearly beloved we gather here today to join this young lady and this young man in holy matramoney if anybody has anything to say they don't want thise two be wed spek now or forever hold your peace" the preacher said "ok derek spencer do you take trish bowman as ur lovely wife for better or for worse in sickness and in health for richer or poorer tell death do you part" the preacher asked "i do" derek said "ok and do you trish bowman take derek spencer as your lovely husben for better or for worse in sick ness and in health for richer or for poorer tell death do you part" the preacher asked me "i do" i said with a smile "ok derek please take a ring and trish take a ring and repete after me with this ring i do thee wed" the preacher said derek took a ring and repeted "with this ring i do thee wed" derek said as he sliped the ring on my fanger i got the ring thats for him "with this ring i do thee wed" i said as i sliped the ring on his fanger "ok i now pronouce you husben and wife you may kiss the bride" the preacher said derek gave me a deep kiss and everyone claped and cheered he picked me up bridle stile and carryed me out the door
*two days later*
so as we came back home from our honeymoon dereks dad was at our house we walked in and his dad came and grabed derek by the arm and draged him away "dad let go of my arm" derek said trying to free himself but failing his dad draged him all the way to the grave yard *two hours later* i notised he wasn't home yet so me and elly and alex went out looking for him elly when to the grave yard cuz that was one of dereks fav pleaces to be cuz his mom and alex when to the mall to see cuz that was dereks other fav place to be and then i when to his job and looked there and all of a sudden *ring ring* my cellphone was ringing so i ancered it it was elly crying and screaming "trish i don't know what happened just get here please and hurry now" elly said as she hung up the phone i went to the grave yard and saw it i screamed almost loud enuff to wak up a whole nation "hell no derek" i said as i was crying i dropped down and sat next to him i picked up his limp body and cryed even more just hugging his body close to my heart "no this can't be no way i will kill his dad i mean it" i said as i layed his body back down and walked out the grave yard with elly fallowing closly behind "where are you going" she asked i turned around and told her to go home and so she did i walked to his dads home and killed him i came back to the house with blood on me

    Dear everyone,

         discluding you, dad, and basically excluding those of you whoever treated me wrong. I have something to say to all of you...since I won’t be able to say it vocally by the time you read this shit.

 

 

    Mom; You are, have been, and always will be in denial Dad is an asshole. It really was him who basically beat me every day. Your fixation on beauty disgusts me.

 

    Dad

Fuck you, this is your fault. May you rot in hell, for all the shit you’ve done to me since the day I was fucking born, physicall AND emotionally.

 

    Lindsay; I love you. I truly have always considered you an amazing sister. I thank you for helping me. Thanks for being my big sister.

    

    Trish; I thank you for trying to break my heart. I thank you for cheating on me...It only made it more

more clear to me how much I loved Sara.I hope he was 10 times better than me for you...

 

    Sara; I always loved you, and I always wanted to tell you. You’re so perfect, and so beautiful. Your eyes are like looking at a preview of heaven. But you never knew...I wanted to hold you in my arms. To kiss you, to show you I could beat Troy, and be SO MUCH better than him! Show you real pleasure, with r

with real passion. I wanted to be so close to you, that we were almost as one. I loved you. I LOVE you, Sara Mitchell.

 

    Troy; You inconsiderate asshole. Cheating piece of trash. If I can come back as an orb or some fucked up shit...I will fucking haunt your ass.

   

    Elena; I knew you online; you gave me so much good advice, and such pure love. I could tell you anything. I love you. I have could tell you anything. I love you. I have only one undying argument that I WILL I guess uhh take to my grave...I’m the ugly one, NOT YOU! You’re a truly amazing person. Please live a long and awesome life!

 

    Michael; Our inside jokes will never die, not even with me... I love you. If I ever turned gay, I would have forced you into it with me...because I am a manipulative asshole, right? Haha. Truestory...You’ve always been my best friend, my nigga. HAHAHA I am so hopeful that you always make Linds happy. I love you, man., You’re SUCH an awesome friend!

 

To anyone who ever treated me like I had no feelings...this is for you. I wonder if I’m still invisible. Fuck love, fuck life, fuck everything....and as for me, I’m gone. I am sorry to those who cared. I could no longer cope...Love Always

 

Love Always,

 

May I stay in your heart, even as I’m no longer in your lives...or not completely, Derek

ya i do and have no clue why i just do so if i goto sleep then don't send me a damn thing okaa well i am off to bed now bubye ttyal bye

okaa i am really very bored but um anyways the anoucement i will keep this page but i will not talk much from it because i can it's mine so um anyways just add deadghost12 or kicun13 cuz those are the only two i will talk on mmmmmmk bye

MAKE IT STOP MAKE ALL THE PAIN I FEEL STOP MAKE ALL TIME STAND STILL MAKE HER STOP IF SHE DIES SO WILL I PLEASE MAKE HER STOP PLEASE MAKE IT STOP  -crys so much puking up blood by now- make her stop please make her stop trying to kill herself it's killing me make her stop please god why do this to me now are you punishing me why what the fuck did i do please

i wanna go way into the past with u in my arms,
but as we go into the past pretect me from them,

and don't ever fall inlove,
cuz i need you so dam bad,
(cuz i need u so dam bad)
so if u go i will die cuz u r my life ,
cuz i need you so dam baaaaad

and if u go i will die,
cuz u ant there to hold me by your side,
and when u get hurt you know i am there,
and when you die you know i'll cry,

and don't ever fall inlove,
cuz i need you so dam bad,
(cuz i need u so dam bad)
so if u go i will die cuz u r my life ,
cuz i need you so dam baaaaad,

i wanna go way into the past with u in my arms,
but as we go into the past pretect me from them,

and don't ever fall inlove,
cuz i need you so dam bad,
(cuz i need u so dam bad)
so if you go i will dieeeeeee,
cuz you are myyy lifeeee,
cuz i need you sooooooo daaaaaammmm bad,

EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO

i totalle feel dead this morning why i have no clue maybe because i haven't eatin all day all i have eatin is coco crunchys and that didn't make me feel any better cuz it tasted like wood and it tasted gross well i have bread now cuz that really tasts good and like i haven't cut my arm in along time and i did yesterday it felt good to all who would ask anyways i really am sick that and the fact i feel like all i wanna do is crawl under a rock and hide from the world and life and just stay there untell the world explods into a millin peaces *sighs* oh that would be good

okaa what the fuck is the point of posting something up if no1 is commenting on shit i mean come on comment please it gets really boring and u know what emos rox more and u know sometrhing u all suck i will tell the truth right now i do drink some and i don't care if my mom or dad kills me cuz i am growing up and I GOT GHOST IN MY ROOM and i bet no other bitch has 12 ghosts in there rooms but i do and u know what i am rebelling cuz i rox and guess what -gets up close with the camera- FUCK YOU

you pull me down

u kill me

what did i do to u

u broke my heart

but i broke your heart

what did i do tell me

am i made for you

or will i stay this way

what did i do to deserve this

what did i do to deserve you

what tell me or i will go and slit my

wrist open so that blood stains your heart

u will want me back one day

and will notise that i hate you

you will want me back so you can love

but i'll be dead so you can kill yourself

i guess when it all comes crashing down

you look to me for help you won't win

i will over power you and i will win

you will be as numb as me

i will die alone and unlove

TONIGHT

i know brendon urie's email and ryan ross's email and pete wentz's email and i know more about them then u bitches who think u do they talk to me and i know no1 beleaves me so what i do beleave what i saw and who i talked to they even put the webcam up so i can see them and blew kisses thru the webcam so do u bitchs beleave me yet no ok what if i told u secrets that they trold me them selfs

as i sit alone in the dark

wishing someone wud save me

you come to me and try but fail

i still am emo as i sit here

but i die so much i and to far

destence from the living world

that sarounds me i die even more

hiding from the life and happyness

everyone has i hate it all

emo are better off with out some one

because my hearts brakes watching

people be happy and not wanting to help

i cut my wrist so deep and don't care

but u care don't you i ask a dog

and then i meet him an emo boy

just my type and he won't get it i wish

he would get it soon i love him but yet he

loves another and not me

i guess when u think about it i hate all even

if i act like i love all i am still emo